My lungs are burning from the cold air
As our skin is slowly and softly bared
You hold me closer than ever before
I give you everything but you still want more
Your eyes are like chocolate; so rich and deep
Red is the blood from my veins that continues to seep
I do what you want and I give you more
But we talk about it and you say you’re unsure
Your touch is so consuming and feather-light
I need it on my skin during my dark nights
I dress down for you and I show you my scarred skin
I tear my heart out and fucking let you in
You were honestly the best part of me
But I was never what you wanted me to be
You pack your bags and you move away
Even though I’m sobbing, “Stay, stay, stay.”
You walk out of our house, straight out the door
I wish it had never come to this but I can’t do it anymore
I go to the highway and start to run in front of cars
If our love was a crime you’d be behind bars
I want to swallow a bottle of bloody pills
Because your love is the kind that kills
I can’t believe I ever let you do this to me
And I wish that this hurt was something I had’ve seen
I never noticed all of your poisonous lies
You never cared about any of my cries
Things will never be the same as they were before
Because you left me here broken, beaten and sore
You said that you cared but you left me here used
I don’t think my skin has ever been this bruised
Every time that I have to watch you leave
I find it so fucking impossible to breathe
My skin looks so pure but it’s hiding scars
No matter how you treat me you’ll always be my star
Everything is cold now, especially the air
Honestly I fucking miss your fingers running through my hair
I close my eyes and I can see your beautiful smile
I wish you would come back and stay for a while
I miss how your lips healed the scars on my skin
You kissed my body and I let you in
Your name tastes like poison on my lips
yet I can’t help but lick them.
After what you’ve done I shouldn’t want you
but here I am in the midst of the night,
a tub of ice cream cradled into my stomach,
wishing that it was the coldness from your distance
rather than that of my heat seeping away melting my cure.
My skin burns from where ours used to meet,
the small of my back ignites in a crowd,
my collarbone after I step out from the shower,
or my knuckles as I replay the thoughts of you again.
Every inch of me heats up as if you were here
but I know that I’m never going to see you again.
Much less feel your skin ‘gainst mine.
It’s late at night and your name slips from my lips
like a child holding a secret,
between the soft sobs your name escapes to the wind.
I’ve tried to hold it in for so long,
tried to keep your name a piece of the past,
but it’s nights like these that I slip up.
Sometimes I lose control.
The morning light burns away the traces of you.
All the dreams that parade in my head
are slowly fleeting now,
I try to forget but a piece of you is still attached.
There are little footprints belonging to you across my soul
that no amount of alcohol could ever wash away.
Believe me, I’ve tried.